People offer me help

People offer me help, but unfortunately I interpret this as a violation of my rights as a paranoid eccentric.

Monday, 14 February 2011

I feel physically sick just looking at you.

Its actually a tough decision to work out who I detest more, BVB or Justin Bieber 

Music is a real inspiration for me, I have music I drive to, I have music I chill out to, I have music I wake up to, For pretty much every action I have a soundtrack. This goes for my work too, perhaps most importantly, I have a vast and varied collection of music that I make work to...Perhaps rather obviously, I am a devout fan of a "good old gig"  - Overpriced bevvies, generally big, burley, heavily tattooed blokes yelling and carrying on, smashed instruments, afterparties, and going home the next day reeking of sweat (that can mainly be attributed to the fat guy behind you) Disgusting? Perhaps....but odd as it sounds, I usually go home, (rehydrate) and find myself completely incensed, fired up and ready to make some work.

Soppy explanation over, I'll get to the point...Granted, everyone has different music tastes, but usually when you go to a gig, you expect the bands to follow a similar format or have some kind of collaborative shred to tie them together...HOWEVER, the pure filth that I was exposed to, two weekends in a row, has left me raging and severely traumatised...

Murderdolls/The Defiled/Black Veil Brides
 February Tour

Sheffield Corporation
Manchester Academy

Murderdolls - Not everyones cup of tea I'm sure, I myself find them delightfully gorey and their albums could be described as a musical B Movie in their own rights....

The Defiled - Despite apearences are actually a lovely bunch of lads (surprisingly enough for southerners)...Music thats real...its does tend to make you drive at roughly double the limit but when your painting style is rough and aggressive its perfect motivation.

Beautiful lineup i thought...This was before I was visually and audibly raped by the repulsive and downright vile excuse of the main support act. 

Black Veil Brides, Fronted by Andy Sixx - A man so far inserted up his own anal cavity, I'm a firm believer that his hoards of fanatics simply follow his unique stench of hairspray and anus scrapings. Lets be fair to the man, hes clearly got some form of visual awareness because I'm told that he himself, all on his todd, came up with the genius idea of hiding himself and the rest of the twatbrigade behind a black bedsheet at the start of the set...Unfortunately for BVB, said bedsheet didnt feel like being attached to the Sheffield Corporation roof and so had to be held up by roadies instead, who ceramoniously flung down the shroud (call it a blind, a cloak, screen, curtain or a shade but I refuse to use the V word) and, much like a game of peekaboo with an infant, the BVB fans exploded with ecstacy, drool and what I strongly suspected to be micturition. 

I dont claim to have anything close to a definative knowledge of rock bands throughout the ages...but even to my amateur eye, one look at BVB utterly and unashamedly screams; WASP, Motley Crue, Kiss, Vains of Jenna, Alice Cooper even...Its outright plagerism and it disgusts me that people are flopping around gooing and gaaing over how innovative and "individual" this pathetic hoard are, when every single inch of their bile-raising stage get-up is stolen from bands before them. And what really fucking gets to me, is the fact that they're getting away with it. Theres influence and then theres stealing. This lot have re-invented themselves to get the attention they're bathing in now, and its a sell-out, something any self respecting artist should be repulsed by. Riding off the success of others is for the scurge of the pop world and Jodie Marsh. 

For both my stints on the tour, I can proudly say I sat through no more than two songs per show. According to a reliable source, I missed out...Andy Sixx lost his hair extensions to his adoring fans...and thats the way I'd like to see these bands disapear, torn apart by their over-enthused pre-pubescent jailbait...  fans.  

I'm Quite Pissed Off. 

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